Views on pop culture through my eyes

Posts tagged ‘stereotypes’

Assumptions

People love to make assumptions about other people. They love to judge a book by it’s cover. They assume, you are a certain way — but in reality it couldn’t be further from the truth. Here are a few assumptions that myself and friends have encountered in my life:

You wear Speedos, you must be gay.Two guys in red Speedos
Only in America would you get this one I think. In Europe, Australia and South America, Speedos have been much more acceptable for guys. But I hear that is changing sadly. I remember the incident from my teen years with the hunks on the beach wearing them, and they were definitely straight. For swimming and sunning, they are still the way to go over baggy board shorts. I remember some straight guys sunning themselves at the apartment pool, and trying to hike up their board shorts to get a tan, it looked ridiculous.

You wear a kilt, you are gay.
Just cause someone likes to be different doesn’t make them gay. I have plenty of kilt friends on the net that are straight and wear kilts all the time. Their spouses love the look on their men. These guys are confident in themselves and don’t give a damn.

You are married, you must want kids.
Reality is not everyone wants kids. I know a couple of straight couples who just didn’t want them. So they didn’t have them. This was a conscious decision on their part. Kids are a drain on your time, not to mention your wallet.

You are single, you must be lonely.
Not everyone wants to have a significant other. A lot of people enjoy their freedom and their own space, so they have no interest in getting married or having a live-in lover. Their family and friends are enough for them.

You are gay, you must not want kids.
This is so not true for me. I have always wanted them. And I am looking forward to being a parent some day. I know it will be a life-changing experience, but I know that I have love to give and that I am a kind, caring and nurturing person.

You are gay, so you must be promiscuous.
The conservatives love to say this about the gay community. Like straight people don’t fool around, and have anonymous sex too. I know plenty of committed gay couples, but these are not the ones who get the media attention (but this is changing with more people seeing and hearing about gay marriages).

You are a guy, you must be good at sports.
So not true for me. I always gravitated to more artistic endevours than playing sports. Funny thing is I am considering training for some Highland Games — you know the sporting events at Scottish Festivals. I am willing to learn.

You are a woman, you know how to cook.
I think we have those 50’s housewives to blame for this one. That was back in the day when the woman stayed home and raised the kids, while the husband was in the working world. With today’s busy world, more often both spouses work, and often they don’t have the time to fix a good meal.

You are a guy, you know how to fix things.
I am talking about fixing cars and things around the house. Cars I am still lost on. I am OK handy around the house. I could do some plumbing and light fixtures… but I learned those as an apartment manager, and not from my Dad who is not handy!

People think you are stuck-up, but reality is you are shy.
This one hits home for me. For years, I struggled with social anxiety disorder. It wasn’t like I didn’t want to talk to people, it was just that I felt that I couldn’t do it. It was too much pain to try. So I would go home and cry, and ask myself why aren’t people talking to me? Then someone told me, they thought I was stuck-up. Now I know that meeting new people is not easy for a lot of people, and it isn’t just me. Plus I know that I can’t please everyone too. I have to be me.

Did I forget any? What assumptions do people make about you, that you prove wrong with your life? I would love to hear from you.

KiltManinSoCal is a Los Angeles-based writer and designer. Be sure to check out the latest T-Shirts for sale here, including Marriage Equality and  Rock the Kilt lines. They make great gifts for friends, family and loved ones.

Breaking Stereotypes

People love to judge other people. People often do judge a book by its cover. I am currently reading the Steve Jobs bio, and he was quite a man. How else can you explain, a hippie who smells bad, with scruffy looks and bare feet being able to win people over? That was one of the early stories I remember from the book. He had great ideas and that showed through.

According to the dictionary, a stereotype is an idea, trait, convention, etc, that has grown stale through fixed usage; a set of inaccurate, simplistic generalizations about a group that allows others to categorize them and treat them accordingly.

Examples of common stereotypes are “Football players are stupid” or “All gay men are effeminate.”

I try to do my best to break down stereotypes. To show people the real me, someone who is complex, and has different facets to his personality. Here is why I feel that I am blazing a trail in my corner of the world.

  1. I pray. Yes, I am a gay man. But God is important in my life, and I pray too. One does not exclude the other, but so many people seem to think that it does. My spirituality does not oppress others — people have a right to be who they want to be, and love who they want to be.
  2. I am a man. And I enjoy being one. Just cause I am gay doesn’t mean I want to become a woman, wear a dress or be meek and timid.
  3. I question the norms. Who’s to say a man in less masculine because he wears a kilt? I enjoy wearing them and get a lot of compliments on them. Women are often compelled to talk to me. Straight men like the cool colors and patterns on them.
  4. I am in a long-term relationship. There are more of us out there than you think. When I tell people how long my partner and I have been together, they are shocked and happy for us.
  5. I am in an interracial relationship. I never went looking for a partner of a different race, he was just someone I clicked with. I am not his sugar daddy, and neither is he mine. We are equals, and contemporaries.
  6. I am a home body. Neither one of us is a big club or bar person. We would rather stay at home watch videos and scrapbook too. How boring and normal is that?
  7. I am creative. I am not a hair dresser, actor, flight attendant, florist or any other supposedly gay occupation. If I went by our friends, the most common occupation would be teacher. I am a graphic designer, not an interior decorator.

What stereotypes do you break? I would love to hear from you.

Spice69man is a Los Angeles-based writer and designer. Be sure to check out the latest T-Shirts for sale here, including Hiking in the Spirit and Real Kilt Men Wear Speedos. They make great gifts for friends, family and loved ones.

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