Views on pop culture through my eyes

Posts tagged ‘same sex’

Exactly How are You Harmed?

Now that same sex marriage is spreading across the country, I am reading more and more articles about how people that have strong religious objections to it are being marginalized. Like suddenly they are the victims now — worrying about being discriminated against. Boo hoo!Christmas 2010

Are these people serious? One of the great things about this country is freedom of speech, and the ability to speak your mind. I have no problem with people saying they don’t get or understand my life. I don’t get yours! I was brought up to believe that we are all equal. And that God was for everyone. He doesn’t discriminate.

You can hate the fact that I can marry my partner of 25 years, but that doesn’t give you the right to pass laws saying that I can’t. You can hold up protest signs outside churches that allow same sex marriages, and “All Fags Go to Hell” signs during gay pride. I have no problem with either. It’s your life, and you can do with it as you like.

What I don’t get is why continue to focus on a losing battle? What do you achieve by putting out so much negative energy about something that disturbs you? Don’t you have a life, or a family/community that you could spend some positive energy on?

Are there hungry and poor people in your community that you could help? Are there people who have lost their jobs or homes that you could lend a hand to? Is someone facing a terminal illness that can use some serious prayers? What about a married couple who is going through a rough patch and could use some counseling? These are all worthy causes for so-called religious people to get involved with.

From what I get — the people that are so damned upset, probably don’t even know a gay person, or would cut a gay person out of their lives if someone came out to them. They don’t want to know us, be our friends, or be our neighbors. Again, the feeling is mutual.

How exactly are you being harmed by same sex marriage now? Inquiring minds want to know. Maybe it’s the fact that you are now a social outcast for your beliefs. You used to be invited to all the best parties and such, but now that word has gotten out, you are not being invited anymore. Maybe you are jealous of the fact that the gay couple down the street appears more in love than you do with your spouse of 10 years. Stuff like this may be happening. Oh well! You don’t have to believe everything your church preaches. You have free will.

I pray for you, and hope that one day you will see what really matters in life. At the end of the day it’s two people in love getting married and that’s it. And couldn’t we all use more love in the world.

KiltManinSoCal is a Los Angeles-based writer and designer. Be sure to check out the latest T-Shirts for sale here, including Marriage Equality and Real Men Wear Speedos lines. They make great gifts for friends, family and loved ones.

Why Are People So Afraid of Gay Couples?

Recently Michigan ruled in favor of marriage equality. But like many other states, the ruling has been stayed pending an appeal. But before the weddings were stopped, several hundred same-sex couples were able to get married. And from everything I see, the first ones getting married were long-term couples.

Partners 2013

Partners 2013

So why does it seem that people are afraid of this? Marriage equality will one day be the norm in this country. It is only a matter of when. So instead of being on the right side of history, these states have decided to waste their taxpayer’s dollars on appeals to stop gay marriage from happening. At best, these states are just delaying things. They are not going to win.

What I see — when I see all these same-sex couples lined up for marriage licenses is — LOVE. I see happy people, wanting to commit to their partners. I see families that are being strengthened. I see joy, excitement and huge smiles. I see a segment of society that has been marginalized for far too long, getting some respect. Just like straight people, gays and lesbians are celebrating their love by getting married when they are able to. I see myself here.

While some celebrate, another segment of society is scared and afraid of this development. I just don’t get it. Who are you to deny someone else’s happiness? Who made you judge and jury? And the moral compass for all society?

Again, I want to know how these haters are being harmed by someone they don’t know getting married to a person of the same sex? I get that people have their religious objections to same-sex marriage. But wouldn’t your time be better spent praying for these people than by passing/trying to hold on to outdated laws/rules?

Maybe these people are stuck in bad straight marriages, and want to deny other people happiness, because they are not happy in their own lives. Maybe they are secretly gay themselves, and not yet accepting of their inclination. Maybe it makes them feel superior over others that they don’t understand.

I live my life as an open book. And when people find out that I have been in a relationship for over 25 years with the same man, people are shocked. You see, gay people can and do have long-term relationships. I wish I knew that when I was coming out, but I didn’t. I had the impression that I was going to be living a lonely life filled with a bunch of meaningless hook-ups. Boy, was I gladly wrong! I have found someone to share my life with, and we are as strong as we ever were.

We are looking forward to our wedding in the near future.

KiltManinSoCal is a Los Angeles-based writer and designer. Be sure to check out the latest T-Shirts for sale here, including Marriage Equality and Real Men Wear Kilts lines. They make great gifts for friends, family and loved ones.

Catholics and Marriage Equality — A Personal Perspective

I was born and raised a Catholic. I went to Catholic school for 13 years. The last few years have been challenging as far as being a gay Catholic.shutterstock_135491960

All over the media you kept hearing story after story of negative things: priests, bishops and cardinals saying they wouldn’t serve communion to those that support marriage equality, teachers being fired from Catholic schools for being gay or getting married to their same-sex partners, churches asking volunteers to step down from their duties because of their same-sex marriage. Gay Catholics were made to feel as it they didn’t belong here, that we weren’t wanted in the church.

I definitely felt that way. That is why I exiled myself away from the church for almost a year. I love the friends I have made at the church. I know that there is a difference between what is said in Rome (or by the higher ups in the church) and what is said at my home parish. I have never heard a negative word coming from the parish itself and the message that is preached is one of love and acceptance.

Polls show that Catholics themselves as a group are more in favor of marriage equality than not. I read an article recently on the web, the headline was “The Catholic Church is not Homophobic, but are it’s Bishops?”. I have to wonder if this is true.

When I was coming out and struggling with my sexuality, the therapist I was seeing encouraged me to talk to a priest. He set up a meeting with one priest in the valley. I met with him, and he told me the church’s teachings on gays. The basic message was one of love and acceptance for the gay person. The main issue of contention is the sex issue. Hence the phrase, love the sinner — hate the sin.

Some of my Catholic friends have gotten all excited about what Pope Francis has said regarding gay people. His comments are refreshing. But I am not jumping up and down yet, like some of my friends. Bottom line is nothing really has changed. He just said that we should focus much less on divisive issues like same-sex marriage and abortion and more about being of service and helping the poor.

My relationship of 25 years is a beautiful thing. Yes, we are intimate. Sexuality is a gift from God, and I am grateful that I get to share it with a loving partner. No priest, politician or family member can tell me that my relationship is not valid. Sex is a part of our relationship. Get over it people! We plan on getting married later this year.

So where do things stand for me and the church? Well, let’s say I am open to hearing more. I will always be connected to the church in some way, whether through friends or family. My personal relationship with God transcends what any church can define. He is in my corner and watching out for me.

A few more things… I can’t see how the Advocate named Pope Francis the person of the year. That was going way too far. Just this past week, the UN condemned the Vatican and their handling of the sex abuse scandals. And yet another story of a lesbian being denied communion at her own mother’s funeral too hit the internet. The Catholic Church needs to listen to their people. And make some changes. But I am not going to sit by and wait for them to happen.

KiltManinSoCal is a Los Angeles-based writer and designer. Be sure to check out the latest T-Shirts for sale here, including Marriage Equality and  Real Men Wear Kilts lines. They make great gifts for friends, family and loved ones.

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