Views on pop culture through my eyes

Posts tagged ‘Prop 8’

Exactly How are You Harmed?

Now that same sex marriage is spreading across the country, I am reading more and more articles about how people that have strong religious objections to it are being marginalized. Like suddenly they are the victims now — worrying about being discriminated against. Boo hoo!Christmas 2010

Are these people serious? One of the great things about this country is freedom of speech, and the ability to speak your mind. I have no problem with people saying they don’t get or understand my life. I don’t get yours! I was brought up to believe that we are all equal. And that God was for everyone. He doesn’t discriminate.

You can hate the fact that I can marry my partner of 25 years, but that doesn’t give you the right to pass laws saying that I can’t. You can hold up protest signs outside churches that allow same sex marriages, and “All Fags Go to Hell” signs during gay pride. I have no problem with either. It’s your life, and you can do with it as you like.

What I don’t get is why continue to focus on a losing battle? What do you achieve by putting out so much negative energy about something that disturbs you? Don’t you have a life, or a family/community that you could spend some positive energy on?

Are there hungry and poor people in your community that you could help? Are there people who have lost their jobs or homes that you could lend a hand to? Is someone facing a terminal illness that can use some serious prayers? What about a married couple who is going through a rough patch and could use some counseling? These are all worthy causes for so-called religious people to get involved with.

From what I get — the people that are so damned upset, probably don’t even know a gay person, or would cut a gay person out of their lives if someone came out to them. They don’t want to know us, be our friends, or be our neighbors. Again, the feeling is mutual.

How exactly are you being harmed by same sex marriage now? Inquiring minds want to know. Maybe it’s the fact that you are now a social outcast for your beliefs. You used to be invited to all the best parties and such, but now that word has gotten out, you are not being invited anymore. Maybe you are jealous of the fact that the gay couple down the street appears more in love than you do with your spouse of 10 years. Stuff like this may be happening. Oh well! You don’t have to believe everything your church preaches. You have free will.

I pray for you, and hope that one day you will see what really matters in life. At the end of the day it’s two people in love getting married and that’s it. And couldn’t we all use more love in the world.

KiltManinSoCal is a Los Angeles-based writer and designer. Be sure to check out the latest T-Shirts for sale here, including Marriage Equality and Real Men Wear Speedos lines. They make great gifts for friends, family and loved ones.


Love is Love

With the recent Supreme Court rulings on DOMA and Proposition 8, we again have gay marriage in California. I still get teary eyed when I see all the happy couples getting married. This looks and feels so right to me. I am looking forward to marrying my long-term partner in the next year.1005282_471905292902196_356035129_n Kilted gay couple

What I still don’t get is the opposition. They are trying their damnest to stop the marriages from continuing. Exactly how are you being harmed again? I would love to hear the details. C’mon now, be specific. I want to hear how you were traumatized by seeing 2 guys kissing on TV, and now you have to go to weekly therapy sessions to get over the traumatic event. How it made you so depressed, you didn’t feel like going to work in the morning, or even getting out of bed. How you are avoiding the gym because there might be some gays looking at you.

When I see the gay and lesbian couples getting married, I see families being recognized and strengthened. I see joy, commitment, honesty, sharing, beauty, heart, compassion and above all, I see love. Lots and lots of love. You see — straight people don’t have a monopoly on love, yet the conservatives seem to think they do. Who are you to deny me my happiness, when my relationship is just as valid as yours?

If these people were true Christians, they would be praying for us, not trying to stand in our way and deny us our right to get married. I can get them being upset, but the dam has busted and gay marriage is inevitable in the entire USA. It will happen in a number of years. Public opinion, the courts and increasingly the voting public are on the side of gay marriage.

There are plenty of things that get me upset in this world, but I choose to not dwell on them — but I pray about them too. There are so many more important issues in this world: hunger, poverty, healthcare, living wage, education, abuse, murder, gangs, sexism, racism, guns, global warming — I can go on and on. Aren’t these all more important than trying to stop gays from marrying? To those hate filled conservatives still whining about gay marriage, I say “Get Your Priorities Straight!”

Love is never wrong. The love between a mother and child, the love between a husband and wife, the love between siblings, between friends — the love between 2 committed lesbians or 2 gay men. Love is love.

KiltManinSoCal is a Los Angeles-based writer and designer. Be sure to check out the latest T-Shirts for sale here, including Marriage Equality and  Rock the Kilt lines. They make great gifts for friends, family and loved ones.

Why We Deserve To Be Married

It seems fitting that I publish this post this week, given what is happening with the Supreme Court. It was originally written for the Courage Campaign, in response to why we deserve marriage equality.

My partner and I am have been together for 24 years. It hasn’t always been easy, but we love each other and are committed to our relationship.  We still make each other laugh, and we enjoy each other’s company. We are each other’s best friend.Dan & Rasheed

We came together in the age of AIDS and watched as friends died off. We have seen societal changes in gay acceptance… from people being afraid of gays and wishing they could change — to today, when it is seen as just something that is and not something that needs to be fixed or cured. Not everyone is straight and that is OK.

We shop together, go to the movies, go on hikes, do all the normal stuff that all couples do. We recently had a scary episode where my partner passed out at a friend’s place… we ended up in the emergency room that night. I was able to sit by his bedside as they tried to find out what was wrong. I was glad that I could be there for him and not out waiting in the lobby.

This incident just confirmed what I already know. I love this man, he is my life partner. I don’t want to live my life without him.

Our relationship is special and I would love to marry my partner. We missed our chance to get married when it was legal in 2008… I never thought it would be taken away so easily. I long for the day when we can make it legal in the state of California. And to celebrate that special day with family and friends.


Daniel LaVenture

Spice69man is a Los Angeles-based writer and designer. Be sure to check out the latest T-Shirts for sale here, including Marriage Equality and  Rock the Kilt lines. They make great gifts for friends, family and loved ones.

Marriage Equality Vote 2012

Four years ago, I had my rights taken away by some people who didn’t feel I had the right to marry my long-term partner. They felt that I was not worthy of getting married since I was gay. I live in California, and with Proposition 8 my rights to marry my partner were taken away, just like that. Gay marriage has still not returned to the Golden State, as the whole mess is being held up in the courts, despite a few rulings that have declared it unconstitutional. This fall on Election Day, there are a few measures/initiatives that we need to pay attention to. Let’s make sure the religious right knows that they are on the losing end of this battle.

Dan and Rasheed 2012 at Bowl

Dan and Rasheed 2012 at Bowl

Same-sex marriage is legal in New York, Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont and Washington, D.C. The D.C.-based National Organization for Marriage, which was involved in ballot measures that overturned same-sex marriage in California and Maine, will be doing their best to make sure that “traditional” marriage is preserved. In 32 previous elections nationally, same-sex advocates have lost. But with President Obama weighing in with his support of same-sex marriage, and the latest polls showing increased support for it as well — the time is now to make sure everyone can get married.

  • Washington — Approve Referendum 74
    Referendum 74 was certified for the November ballot in May after gay marriage opponents in the group Preserve Marriage Washington turned in more than 240,000 signatures. The referendum seeks to overturn the gay-marriage law signed in February by Gov. Chris Gregoire. The same-sex marriage law was supposed to take effect June 7 but has been put on hold pending the November vote. An “approve” vote on the referendum upholds the law, and a “reject” vote overturns it. founder and CEO Jeff Bezos and his wife, MacKenzie, have donated $2.5 million to the campaign to defend Washington’s same-sex marriage law after being asked by a former employee if he could help out.  To help out, please contact:
  • Maryland — Marriage Equality
    Maryland passed a bill that would allow for marriage licenses to be issued to same-sex couples. Additionally, these measures will preserve the religious freedom and liberty of churches and places of worship. Governor Martin O’Malley signed the bill into law on March 1, 2012. But same-sex marriage opponents have successfully submitted enough signatures to put the measure up for a public vote this November. President Obama’s stance has helped us in the latest polls, and shifted opinion among blacks. To help out, please contact:
  • Maine — Yes on Marriage Referendum
    Voters will decide this November whether to reinstate the marriage equality law that was overturned in a public referendum in 2009. If the referendum receives a majority “yes” vote, Maine will become the first state to pass an initiative introduced by marriage equality supporters. The final wording for the ballot question reads, “Do you want to allow the State of Maine to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples?” The citizen’s initiative would allow same-sex couples to receive a marriage license in Maine. In addition, it also provides that no clery person or religious institution is required to perform or to host a marriage against his or her religious beliefs. To help out, please contact: Why Maine is getting a chance, and California is afraid to bring this back to the ballot is beyond me. I bet it is being used as test case of sorts.
  • Minnesota — Vote No on Marriage Amendment
    The question before voters is: “Shall the Minnesota Constitution be amended to provide that only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in Minnesota?” We need to shift the conversation away from being about approval for gay marriage. This Vote asks Minnesotans to write inequality into the constitution, and to carve to stone, discrimination into our state’s most sacred document.  The constitution should not be limiting Minnesotans basic human rights.  Additionally, to prevent voters from accidentally voting ‘YES’ we must start a trend of getting people to refer to the amendment as the “Marriage Discrimination Amendment,” so they know they are saying ‘NO’ to discrimination. To help out, please contact:

Please do your part for the upcoming election. Our future depends on it.

Spice69man is a Los Angeles-based writer and designer. Be sure to check out the latest T-Shirts for sale here, including Hiking in the Spirit and Real Kilt Men Wear Kilts. They make great gifts for friends, family and loved ones.

Celebrities Standing Up for Gay Rights

This edition will focus on what some prominent celebrities are saying on the issue:

George Clooney (on marriage equality)

A long time supporter of marriage equality, George Clooney believes its conservative opposition is facing an inevitable decline.Marriage Equality

“I think the world is changing and it’s becoming less and less of an issue and I think it shouldn’t be long now,” Clooney told E! Online at the Critics’ Choice Awards. “I think younger people are looking at this like, ‘Who cares?'”

“I do believe it’s generational, much like the civil rights movement,” the star, who picked up Best Actor at the CCAs, said. “Young people started taking to the streets and things changed. This really is the final leg of the civil rights movement.”

“It is astonishing that gay and lesbian Americans are still treated as second-class citizens,” Clooney said in a statement announcing his casting in the play “Prop 8.” “I am confident that, very soon, the laws of this nation will reflect the basic truth that gay and lesbian people — like all human beings — are born equal in dignity and rights.”


The Fight Over Gay Marriage


So much has already been written on this subject. I have wondered what I could say that would be any different than what others have said. Here’s my take on the issue:

I have been in a relationship with a man for 23 years. He is my life partner, lover and best friend. We met when we were both going to a Young Men’s Rap Group at the Gay & Lesbian Center in Hollywood. He was 16 when I first met him and I was 20. We weren’t friends, so much as acquaintances. We didn’t start going out until about 5 years later. I had broken up with my old boyfriend and he asked a mutual friend for my number. The rest is history as they say.Dan & Rasheed

Has it been all sunshine and rainbows? Absolutely not. We are two very different people from different backgrounds, not to mention the interracial dynamic too. But we have made it work because we love each other and know how to communicate with each other.

When gay marriage became available to us in 2008 (in California due to a court case), we were both taken aback at first. It was like “Wow! Didn’t see this coming!” We talked about getting married, and even argued about it. I wanted us to have a nice celebration with out friends and family, one that would take some planning and money. He was more open to the idea of just going to the courthouse. Plus there were issues with what it really meant, did there have to be something more to it, or was loving each other enough? And then what sort of spiritual component would there be to it.


I’m Gay and I Pray

I was born and raised Catholic. I went to Catholic school for 13 years. I was baptized, had my first communion and confirmation. I went to church every Sunday.

As an adult, I have continued my relationship with God. But I have found there is a big difference between religion and spirituality. I have also had to make peace with sexuality and the church. I was made to feel there was something wrong with me because I was gay. I prayed and prayed for God to change me. The more research and life experience I had I came the conclusion that I was born this way. There was nothing wrong with me! Being gay is a gift from God.We Are All God's Children

I hate the fact that the Religious Right has soiled/perverted the word “Christian” — to me, they are anything but. God is Love, love for all mankind: We are all equal: man, woman, gay, straight, married or not, rich or poor, white, black, hispanic, asian, etc. God loves all of us. Yet the religious right wants us to feel otherwise — that some of us are better than others.

When the Prop. 8 campaign was happening in California in 2008, my partner and I joined in the fight to keep gay marriage in the state. We did a lot of phone calls, plus we stood on a street corner and waved signs for the cause. The “Christians” we encountered during this time are some of the most hateful persons I have ever dealt with. I was told I was going to hell, that I was sick/perverted, that they wanted to murder us, and they wished that I would die. All of this because I love somebody of the same sex.


Why I hate “The Bachelor/Bachelorette”

I’ve stayed quiet on this long enough. It is time for “The Bachelor” franchise to be retired. Does anyone really think they can meet their soulmate on reality TV? ABC is currently bringing us another round of “The Bachelorette” starring Ashley Hebert as the girl looking for love on reality TV. She was one of the girls who was in love with Bachelor Brad last season only to have her heart broken. Give me a break! Give her a few years and she will be on on “Dancing with the Stars” or “Celebrity Rehab.”

They try to sell it as romance and true love and in reality it’s just a bunch of pretty people having their 15 minutes of fame. What really pisses me off, is that so many of the seasons end with a marriage proposal! The track record of the franchise is 1 marriage, and technically that was from “The Bachelorette” not “The Bachelor”. The people that love this show are the same people who would deny me my RIGHT to marry my life partner of 22 years. One season they even had a Bachelor who was a single dad. Oh yeah, let me find a woman on a reality show to be the surrogate mother to my child! Talk about family values. Are these people for real or what? It is disgusting… and a disgrace to those people who actually have to work on their marriages and know how hard it is to balance life, work, kids, responsibilities, etc. Relationships are hard and are much more complex and rewarding than an hour long TV show would suggest.

Back to the gay issue… My relationship is beautiful, loving, caring, something special to cherish. It is NOT sick, twisted, perverted or disgusting. It is REAL! Not some producer’s silly fantasy of what a relationship should be orchestrated for drama for the sake of TV ratings. I hope the backlash that met Bachelor Brad last time, causes people to tune out this season. Let’s send a clear message to the powers that be, we’ve had enough and don’t want to take it anymore!

Gay marriage is not going away as an issue… and the courts and public opinion are increasingly on our side. Maybe if it was a gay couple I would watch… but I still bet that it wouldn’t last!

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