Views on pop culture through my eyes

Posts tagged ‘pride’

Dear Omar Mateen

Editors Note: Like the rest of the country, I have been deeply affected by the massacre in Orlando. The following is my letter to the killer if he was alive today.

Congratulations on your newfound fame and notoriety. It’s official — you have past the previous records of mass shootings and are now the person with the highest body count — 49 innocent lives. Yeah, I know they were all faggots to you. You think you knew what these people were all about, but in reality you new nothing about them other than that they deserved to die for their “horrible” lifestyle. I bet you never knew a gay person.

How could someone who has a son of his own commit such an evil and heinous crime? Don’t you realize that the people you killed had families too — brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, partners, children, grandparents and friends? They were people who were going to school, working jobs and trying to make a way in the world, just like you were.

Who made you God? What makes you better than the rest of us? Did you have a direct connection to Allah? Did he tell you via a cosmic phone call or text to go and kill a bunch of LGBT people in Orlando?

From reports that are surfacing, you seemed to enjoy the nightlife yourself. You often visited nightclubs and enjoyed partying. The people at the Pulse were just letting off some steam and having a fun evening — like people do when they go to a nightclub. Laughing, dancing, drinking — they weren’t protesting or making some kind of political statement. They just wanted to have a good time. Who are you to say what someone else’s good time is comprised of?

And don’t get me started on the possibility that you were actually a closeted gay man. If that is the case, you should have gone to therapy. You would have found out that people can and do lead healthy and productive lives as LGBT persons. That whatever was written in the Koran, was written so long ago they had no clue to the reality of being gay. Most LGBT people I know believe they were born this way. Sure you may have had issues with your family, but I do believe you would have gotten past them in time.

As for the anger issues, well again, I would recommend some therapy and some possible prescription drugs too. How you reacted to being offended to seeing 2 guys kiss is not a normal reaction. It is obvious that you are a mentally deranged individual. I would like to believe that you could have gotten past things and lived a normal life.

Having a normal life is not something your victims will get to do. Who knows what they might have achieved? They could have had the cure for cancer or been a future President of the USA. Those that did live (and there are 5 still in critical condition, so your total may still rise) are going to have a long hard road back to recovery. We are talking huge medical expenses, rehabilitation, plastic surgery, prosthetics and more. Not to mention the intense trauma they endured that will result in years of psychotherapy. These people have been through hell, and you are the one responsible for it.

I get that religion is important to you. It is important to me too. I love that I get to connect to God and my spiritual community. One of the tenants of my faith is that we are all people of God — regardless of race, religion, sexuality or nationality. I don’t have to agree with or like everyone in the world. We are different, and I am OK with that. If I see something wrong in the world, I will pray about it. If I feel so, I will write my politicians and tell them how I feel. Try to get laws or protections passed. I would never take matters into my own hands and be judge and jury myself. But again, that is something we feel differently about.

Did you expect to see all the outpourings of love around the world? I bet not. Sure there are those haters who agree with what you did and see it as an act of God. But those people are in the minority. There have been rallies and vigils all over the world for your victims. Politicians, law enforcement, ministers, celebrities along with millions and millions of regular people who want to celebrate and remember the people you killed. Your victims were people who most of us have never met, yet we have cried so many tears about them.

In the end love will always win. I guess you know that now too since you are dead. You can never hug your son again. You will never see your wife again. Never talk to or interact with your parents. Every year on June 12, we will read aloud the names of the fallen to remember them and celebrate their lives. Your name will soon be forgotten. A small footnote in time.

I pray for you and your family. Something that you probably wouldn’t do for me. But again, that’s the type of person I am.

KiltManinSoCal is a Los Angeles-based writer and designer. Be sure to check out the latest T-Shirts for sale here, including Marriage Equality and Real Men Wear Speedos lines. They make great gifts for friends, family and loved ones.


When are Men Going to be Honest about Bisexuality?

It is amazing all the inroads that gay rights and marriage equality have had in the last few years. We are seeing that gay and lesbian people are everywhere. But where are the bisexuals, specifically the men?Bisexuality_300

For years, women have been very open about having had sexual experiences/attractions to other women. Everything from Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” to Anna Paquin’s confession that she is a bisexual. Singer Frank Ocean didn’t come out as gay, but admitted he fell in love with a man cause he didn’t want to be defined as gay. Clive Davis is another guy who came out as bisexual… good for him. And this past week, director Bryan Singer has come out as bisexual, after being defined as gay for many years.

With more openness in society, I believe there are going to be a lot less hang-ups about being gay or having same-sex attractions. I can see more people exploring their sexuality, as opposed to being defined by one thing.

There are several reasons why we are not yet seeing more openly bi-males. Men are supposed to be strong, and masculine. They are supposed to be dominant. Being gay may be seen as a weakness… like you are less of a man because you are. That some how you are more feminine because of it. If you talk to most gay men, they enjoy being men, and don’t want to be women. Society is still hung up on the old ideals of the 50’s guy…

Society in general is afraid of male sexuality is another reason. When a woman admits to having had same-sex attractions or interactions, she is seen as exciting, exotic… maybe a bit dangerous. Straight guys would be intrigued by her. Where as if a guy admitted it, he would be seen as damaged goods by a number of people. That’s why I said it was a big deal when a guy admitted he had had sex with a man on “The Real World” in Season 28. I had never seen someone be so forthcoming with it.

Hollywood has been selling the idea of bisexual females for years… on nighttime dramas like “Grey’s Anatomy” and “The OC”. I already mentioned Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” and then add in bits like the Madonna-Britney smooch from a few years prior and you get the idea: Bisexual females can be hot. Where are the bi-male equivalents? Is it because Hollywood is still very much a man’s town, and a bisexual/lesbian female is a hot fantasy for a lot of straight guys?

As for me, I know that I am gay. But hey, I have watched and enjoyed straight porn. Does that make me bi? I don’t think so. But one day, I hope people can talk about their weekend, and not be judged by who they went on a date with — guy or girl.

KiltManinSoCal is a Los Angeles-based writer and designer. Be sure to check out the latest T-Shirts for sale here, including Marriage Equality and Real Men Wear Kilts lines. They make great gifts for friends, family and loved ones.

Top Ten Places to Wear Speedos

Here’s my list of the Top Ten places to wear your Speedos:Red Speedo Jump

  1. Public Pool
    Not so unexpected here, as most professional swimmers still wear them or something tight at the very least (like jammers). Don’t know how you could squeeze yourself into a smaller size.
  2. The Gym
    Again, not so unexpected here, especially considering there is usually a pool, jacuzzi and steam room. There is one guy I see who works out in something very similar to Speedos… very short shorts on the weight floor. I don’t mind as he is in good shape.
  3. The Beach
    Home of one of my favorite teenage fantasies, they just make sense to me if you want to tan or play in the water. A Speedo tan line looks very cool on fit guys.
  4. Pool Party
    Yes, you are putting yourself out there some with this… as you may be the only one there in one, unless you are at a gay party. But if you are comfortable in your own skin and you feel good, go for it.
  5. Gay Pride
    I did this one last year… a pair of Speedos and some shoes. It made sense when I was in a crowded bar after the parade, and that’s all I had on. It was very hot inside. And fun for dancing… you felt like a go-go boy.
  6. Water Park
    I did this last year too, but I have done it plenty in the past. Yeah, so what if people look… It feels right for me. And I have the balls to do it. Maybe I am giving some closeted gay guy a fantasy to think about.
  7. Triathlon
    Makes sense to me. Swimming, running and bike riding in something tight and form fitting. Just have a tank top or cut-off shirt to pin your number on.
  8. Santa Speedo Run
    Popular in several places around the country including Boston! You need a pair of red Speedos, and a Santa hat and you are ready to run. Still need to do one of these.
  9. Foam Party
    Used to be popular at gay bars… the dance floor gets cover in soap bubbles and you dance around in your underwear or less. Why not wear something tight and shiny like a Speedo… they look great when wet.
  10. Rave
    I haven’t experienced this one yet… but I could totally see it.  Add some funky boots, funny hat and sunglasses and a feather boa, and it would be a happening rave outfit.

That’s it! Now let’s see you out there having some fun in Speedos. Don’t forget to take pics!

KiltManinSoCal is a Los Angeles-based writer and designer. Be sure to check out the latest T-Shirts for sale here, including Marriage Equality and  Rock the Kilt lines. They make great gifts for friends, family and loved ones.

Top Ten Places to Wear a Kilt

As long time readers of this blog, you should know that one of my favorite items of clothing is my kilt. I am often seen around town wearing it. Yes, it took some getting used to… but now I barely give it a second thought when I put it on. So hear are the Top Ten places to wear a kilt:

Tartan kilt

  1. Concerts: You can be as dressy or playful with it as you want. I have worn it to fancy Christmas concerts (with sweater, shirt and tie), and to big arena rock shows like Lady GaGa too (with my mesh shirt). Great for dancing, and shows that you like to have a bit of a edge too.
  2. Nightclub: Did I mention it is confortable? And again shows off a man’s legs nicely and gets people guessing about what you are or are not wearing under it. I have heard of plenty of women buying drinks for guys in kilts. (Somebody’s got to be into that… now if it was cute guys… now that’s another story)
  3. Dinner Party: Dressier than jeans, but not as dressy as slacks, with a nice shirt and tie, you will be good to go. A great conversation starter, people take notice and love to ask what it’s all about. Hey, it’s comfortable, I’m artsy… I’m Scottish, etc.
  4. Wedding: Only did this once, and it was a gay wedding too. But it was a nice warm day, and I made sure that I coordinated the outfit with my partners. If they ever bring back gay marriage in California, I want to be married in one.
  5. The Mall: This I do on the regular…. Window shopping, going out to the movies/dinner, maybe even doing some real shopping too. I look good, and know that I make it work.

Innocence and ‘In Your Face’

I have had this title for a while, and I am finally tackling it. It was said to my partner by a friend after spending the day with me at the gay pride parade. He was referring to me when he said it. I laughed when I heard it, and I agree with it.

Hollywood Bowl 2013

Hollywood Bowl 2013

People are complex. You can love your family and love violent video games. You can sing in the church choir but love heavy metal in the car. You can love eating a burger one day, and salads the rest of the week. I can love men, and love God.

I grew up in a strict Catholic household. We went to church every Sunday and holy day, plus I went to Catholic school for 13 years too. For grammar school, we had to wear uniforms. For high school, we had a strict dress code.

Sometimes I do like pressing buttons like my idol, Madonna. She has always been one to question the norm. She wore her underwear on the outside, with rosaries and crucifixes hanging down. She has danced and posed provocatively for the camera and on stage.

So as for me, I can be dressed in dockers and a dress shirt for work, and then I enjoy walking down Santa Monica Blvd in my Speedos for Gay Pride. I can be in jeans and a polo shirt some days, and other days I am in my kilt with a concert T-shirt and  a Mohawk. These are all the sides of what makes me Dan.

Am I doing something to be  ‘in your face’? Maybe. Nothing wrong with giving them something to talk about as the song says. When I wear my Speedos at the pool at the gym, that is expected. When I wear them to the pool at the apartment, it is a little different but still not unexpected. When I wear them to take the trash out when it’s 110 degrees in the Valley, then I am being a bit in your face. But hey, it’s hot! And hey, it’s me! Just being comfortable in my opinion. I don’t think they would want me to do that naked!

With the kilt, it is all about me being me. It just fits me. I am comfortable and feel good about myself.  I know it is not “the norm” but why should I be normal? I fought so hard over the years to fit in… when I realized I was born to stand out! I can dress very rocker kilt guy with boots and mesh shirt one day, and then I can dress it up with a shirt and tie and dress shoes for going to church.

As for the innocence thing, well, I think that goes back to me being sort of a shy and quiet person. I was never one to slut around, and I have been in a relationship for over 24 years. But hey, I enjoy flirting from time to time, and being sexy too. I still know who is going to be in my bed at night!

So I will keep living my life and giving people something to talk about. As Madonna says “Poor is the man whose pleasure depends on the permission of another.” So if you see me strutting down the street in a camo kilt with a shaved head, just know that I am comfortable in my own skin. I hope you are too.

Spice69man is a Los Angeles-based writer and designer. Be sure to check out the latest T-Shirts for sale here, including Marriage Equality and  Rock the Kilt lines. They make great gifts for friends, family and loved ones.

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