It is amazing all the inroads that gay rights and marriage equality have had in the last few years. We are seeing that gay and lesbian people are everywhere. But where are the bisexuals, specifically the men?
For years, women have been very open about having had sexual experiences/attractions to other women. Everything from Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” to Anna Paquin’s confession that she is a bisexual. Singer Frank Ocean didn’t come out as gay, but admitted he fell in love with a man cause he didn’t want to be defined as gay. Clive Davis is another guy who came out as bisexual… good for him. And this past week, director Bryan Singer has come out as bisexual, after being defined as gay for many years.
With more openness in society, I believe there are going to be a lot less hang-ups about being gay or having same-sex attractions. I can see more people exploring their sexuality, as opposed to being defined by one thing.
There are several reasons why we are not yet seeing more openly bi-males. Men are supposed to be strong, and masculine. They are supposed to be dominant. Being gay may be seen as a weakness… like you are less of a man because you are. That some how you are more feminine because of it. If you talk to most gay men, they enjoy being men, and don’t want to be women. Society is still hung up on the old ideals of the 50’s guy…
Society in general is afraid of male sexuality is another reason. When a woman admits to having had same-sex attractions or interactions, she is seen as exciting, exotic… maybe a bit dangerous. Straight guys would be intrigued by her. Where as if a guy admitted it, he would be seen as damaged goods by a number of people. That’s why I said it was a big deal when a guy admitted he had had sex with a man on “The Real World” in Season 28. I had never seen someone be so forthcoming with it.
Hollywood has been selling the idea of bisexual females for years… on nighttime dramas like “Grey’s Anatomy” and “The OC”. I already mentioned Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” and then add in bits like the Madonna-Britney smooch from a few years prior and you get the idea: Bisexual females can be hot. Where are the bi-male equivalents? Is it because Hollywood is still very much a man’s town, and a bisexual/lesbian female is a hot fantasy for a lot of straight guys?
As for me, I know that I am gay. But hey, I have watched and enjoyed straight porn. Does that make me bi? I don’t think so. But one day, I hope people can talk about their weekend, and not be judged by who they went on a date with — guy or girl.
KiltManinSoCal is a Los Angeles-based writer and designer. Be sure to check out the latest T-Shirts for sale here, including Marriage Equality and Real Men Wear Kilts lines. They make great gifts for friends, family and loved ones.