Views on pop culture through my eyes

Assumptions

People love to make assumptions about other people. They love to judge a book by it’s cover. They assume, you are a certain way — but in reality it couldn’t be further from the truth. Here are a few assumptions that myself and friends have encountered in my life:

You wear Speedos, you must be gay.Two guys in red Speedos
Only in America would you get this one I think. In Europe, Australia and South America, Speedos have been much more acceptable for guys. But I hear that is changing sadly. I remember the incident from my teen years with the hunks on the beach wearing them, and they were definitely straight. For swimming and sunning, they are still the way to go over baggy board shorts. I remember some straight guys sunning themselves at the apartment pool, and trying to hike up their board shorts to get a tan, it looked ridiculous.

You wear a kilt, you are gay.
Just cause someone likes to be different doesn’t make them gay. I have plenty of kilt friends on the net that are straight and wear kilts all the time. Their spouses love the look on their men. These guys are confident in themselves and don’t give a damn.

You are married, you must want kids.
Reality is not everyone wants kids. I know a couple of straight couples who just didn’t want them. So they didn’t have them. This was a conscious decision on their part. Kids are a drain on your time, not to mention your wallet.

You are single, you must be lonely.
Not everyone wants to have a significant other. A lot of people enjoy their freedom and their own space, so they have no interest in getting married or having a live-in lover. Their family and friends are enough for them.

You are gay, you must not want kids.
This is so not true for me. I have always wanted them. And I am looking forward to being a parent some day. I know it will be a life-changing experience, but I know that I have love to give and that I am a kind, caring and nurturing person.

You are gay, so you must be promiscuous.
The conservatives love to say this about the gay community. Like straight people don’t fool around, and have anonymous sex too. I know plenty of committed gay couples, but these are not the ones who get the media attention (but this is changing with more people seeing and hearing about gay marriages).

You are a guy, you must be good at sports.
So not true for me. I always gravitated to more artistic endevours than playing sports. Funny thing is I am considering training for some Highland Games — you know the sporting events at Scottish Festivals. I am willing to learn.

You are a woman, you know how to cook.
I think we have those 50’s housewives to blame for this one. That was back in the day when the woman stayed home and raised the kids, while the husband was in the working world. With today’s busy world, more often both spouses work, and often they don’t have the time to fix a good meal.

You are a guy, you know how to fix things.
I am talking about fixing cars and things around the house. Cars I am still lost on. I am OK handy around the house. I could do some plumbing and light fixtures… but I learned those as an apartment manager, and not from my Dad who is not handy!

People think you are stuck-up, but reality is you are shy.
This one hits home for me. For years, I struggled with social anxiety disorder. It wasn’t like I didn’t want to talk to people, it was just that I felt that I couldn’t do it. It was too much pain to try. So I would go home and cry, and ask myself why aren’t people talking to me? Then someone told me, they thought I was stuck-up. Now I know that meeting new people is not easy for a lot of people, and it isn’t just me. Plus I know that I can’t please everyone too. I have to be me.

Did I forget any? What assumptions do people make about you, that you prove wrong with your life? I would love to hear from you.

KiltManinSoCal is a Los Angeles-based writer and designer. Be sure to check out the latest T-Shirts for sale here, including Marriage Equality and  Rock the Kilt lines. They make great gifts for friends, family and loved ones.

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Comments on: "Assumptions" (1)

  1. Marcelo Castilho Rogedo said:

    As always..nice article…let us think about all the ones listed here….about speedos, at least here, I think people dont think that way…..here, as far as I know speedos are not linked to the idea of a gay person….just as you wrote above….not in my mind..
    ..about wearing a kilt….as I wrote previouly in other articles, this is a very cultural aspect too. People here are still narrow minded…and that does not happen there in the USA. Remember that article about the guy that could not go to a graduation party here? You see….narrow minded people….kilt is a cultural clothing…if we think kilt and gays could be connected…people would think Scotish men are gays….sooo stupid!!!
    Yes, not all the married people want kids. Kids demand a lot of things…responsability, $, time to raise them….many friends of mine dont have kids…straight or gays….and they are perfectly happy…
    About being promiscuous….not because we’re gays we must live in that way…actually, many times I am online, chatting….ad I see many straight and married men trying to have easy sex with me or searching sex online…the red houses downtown…the ones at Sao Paulo Street…there are red houses whose the stairs are always with men coming up and down….easy sex with sluts…and of course, their wives does not know about it…so…people should open their mind…the idea of being promiscuous could be straight or gay…depends on the kind of life the person lives…
    Sports…I never cared about it very much…actually, at school, I never played….the teacher used to say “If you wear your uniforme, I will let you sit down and rest…you dont have to play anything”…I never enjoyed playing tennis, football…..I root for the teams I like here, but never enjoyed football to be a player….
    How to cook? Man…if my mother travels and I stay alone here….Or I go to a restaurant to eat or I go to my grandmother’s house….the only thing I know is how to make a coffee….but cooking….not my type….by the way, my sister Paula, does not cook anything….her husband runs the kitchen…..
    I have no idea of how to fix things….if something is wrong here, I always must call a guy to fix….the last one was a cute guy, by the way, that had to fix one thing in the bathroom…..and the last one…I used to be very shy…not saying that I am not anymore..but I feel myself more comfortable to interact with people….

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