I’ve never been with a woman. I am a gay man and have only been with guys. Friends that are older than me, got married, had kids and then came out later in life. They say getting married is what was expected of them at the time. The younger generations hopefully have a lot less hang ups about sex and sexuality than I or the older generations have.
Sexuality is a lot more gray than people probably want to admit. But women are much more open about this fact than guys are. I remember I worked with this guy I thought was cute. He had 7 earrings, wore stylish clothes and had a trendy haircut. I wondered if he was gay. But I often heard him putting down the guys who wore Speedos down at the pool we could see from our office building. I also heard him talking about girls to another of our co-workers. Years later, I was told that he was bisexual. He wasn’t open about that! Why is that?
Of my gay friends that were married to women, if you asked them how the sex was with their wives, they will say that it was good. I read recently that Fran Drescher was married to a gay man for like 20 years and they had a great relationship.
A male high school friend I know experimented with a guy, yet he is a straight guy. I don’t know if he has told any of his other friends about his experimenting. I just finished the Rick Springfield bio “Late, Late at Night.” He even admits to being tempted for a minute by a man. He didn’t pursue it, but it was the 70’s and people were experimenting. I am glad the he mentioned it. Warren Cuccurullo, from the bands Missing Persons and Duran Duran, admits to having had gay sex, even though he is not gay. These guys are in the minority.
I always felt it was a cop out when straight men were asked about who they would prefer if they were gay — Brad Pitt or Danny Devito — and they said neither, they were straight. Come on… admitting who is the more attractive male doesn’t make you gay. Woman can/will comment on who they think is good looking. Same with gay men. There are not consequences for doing so… but straight guys seem to think there are. I love the fact that James Franco is fine if people think he is gay. I read so in an interview. He is secure with his sexuality and let’s people think what they want. What does it matter anyway?
Woman still seem to get a pass with things. Katy Perry can sing “I Kissed a Girl” and she liked it and nobody bats an eye. But if Kayne West or Eminem came out with “I Kissed a Boy” it would be the end of the world.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if you are gay, straight, bi or whatever, as long as you are happy and respect the people you are with. Sexuality is complex…so are people. I hope that we can come to a place where it will not matter who you love or have sex with… but what matters is the quality of your character and the way you treat others.