We all have traits of both of them in each of us. I have met some very queeny straight guys over the years, and some very butch lesbians too. As for me, I am me… I used to worry that I was too this or too that…. Now I just live my life.
Traits typically associated with masculinity include: strength, hard working, insensitive, protector, provider, even violence. Typical female traits are nurturing, sensitivity, family, vulnerability, even weakness. Aren’t you glad we all have both to varying degrees?
I have worked with a couple of interesting people that challenge people’s perceptions about masculine and feminine. One is a skinny guy who I see at the gym sometimes. He will be out by the pool, in his French cut bikini rocking out to his iPod. Another is a young girl, that could pass for a queeny gay guy. She dresses very masculine, no makeup and downplays her breasts. Both these individuals are young and seem to be comfortable in their skin. I don’t know the sexuality of either of them… just what they project to the public.
I don’t have a problem with people being themselves. Others may not feel the same way. They may not want to associate with someone who doesn’t fit the so-called norm. They don’t want the person living near them, going to the same church or teaching their children. They will say that person makes them feel uncomfortable or that they are weird. What is it that they are afraid of?
Even in the gay community, there are divides over this issue. For example, you still see personal ads that insist on “straight acting” gay men. To me, these people are looking for a porn fantasy and not someone realistic. And what is it with straight men and the idea of lipstick lesbians? I have met a few (lipstick lesbians), and I am sure they wouldn’t want anything to do with a fat hairy straight man who likes the fantasy of them. And I haven’t even touched on transgendered individuals…
In the L.A. area, we have this event every August called the Sunset Junction Street Fair. It is a big street fair at the intersection of Santa Monica Blvd and Sunset Blvd. In recent years, the event has gotten more mainstream and commercial. But in past years, one of the more interesting sites is seeing the gay thugs and gangbangers holding their boyfriend’s hands and walking through the festival. My lover told me of a similar site on the subway trains in New York City.
Some tidbits from TV…Remember when Alec Mapa’s character on “Ugly Betty” turned out to be straight on the show? He played a queeny fashion reporter on the show within the show and it was all an act so he could get the job. And how about Matt Damon pretending to be gay to join the Gay Men’s Chorus on “Will and Grace”?
I applaud those people who just live their lives and don’t give a damn. Both male and female individuals can be hard-working, nurturing, sensitive, powerful, caring, friendly and strong.